I want More

I want more of you!

I want to follow hard after you so Desperately!

I want to feel you with me Always!

I want my every breath; 

My every step; 

My every action to be ordained by you.

And I will see HARD after you!

I will seek just as your word commands!

Father, my life - It's in Your Hands!

All that I need; It lies in You!

I get my strength from relying on You!

To keep me, to guide me in all that I do.

How I Long to be near you.....So so badly!!

Use me!

But Fix me though;

Remove the dirt;

Remove the Stain;

Ease the Burden & Take away the Pain

So I can run HARD after You - After You my Lord!

How I Long to be near you!

I Love You!

I Adore You!

I Bow down before You!

I Worship You!

You are My God - My King - My Everything!

I'm Running HARD after You!!

By:- Zinnia A. Williams

Don't Hurt Me Please!

Now I lay me down to sleep on my pillow top bed so soft and so sweet

I close my eyes and begin to pray lord please don't let my horror begin again I pray and I pray

Don’t let me lose no sleep this night keep me safe from the dangers I fight.

And as I rest my weary eyes let someone hear the midnight cries.

I go to sleep and begin to rest but not long after in the bed he rests…. next to me beside me …..comforting me…. trying to get…… inside me

Violating me with his tender kisses telling that it’s me he misses rubbing his hands along my flesh someone come quick I feel so helpless

His hot breath along the nape of my neck that smell of cologne mixed with his sweat I will never forget as he...he touches me ever so softly caressing me he's all up on me all over my frail body oh lord help me for I am weary… weary of this darkness that comes in the night destroying me more and more with every touch every kiss every penetration ....I can't get over......IT....its braking me….braking my heart, my mind and my spirit sentencing me to a lifetime of emotional distress, fear, un-worthiness and insecurity of never feeling what real love is supposed to be all because he's violating me…over and over and over again oh lord when will this madness end...a way out is what I shall seek ….what I need if I try to do I must succeed…. ending my life seems so perfect to me no longer trapped used and abused …. Feel like I’m sinking into and endless pit...the abyss of the darkness that encompasses me....I feel sooooooooooo ….so lonely, so empty....

Die, die, die is all I hear in my ear...it’s the only way out and you know no one cares...

No one cares or gives a dam....so what if he does this...he's only a man...the man that's supposed to love me, take care of me, honor me, adore me comfort me; RESPECT ME.....what a monster he has turned out to be....he is my.............my dad, my uncle, my brother, my… my friend? The one i look at and admire whose role in life that I should aspire to be like…...but why is he hurting me? I can't stand this...this pain....this constant viscous attempt to conspire, to ravish, to rape, to spoil to forever damage my inner temple my anatomy....no longer can I pretend..nor hide behind this is mask of sin.....I must get out I must break free...kill him and fox-hill be my destiny ? But no one will help for they don't believe me..hear me...hear my cries or see the sadness that's it my eyes...all they'll say is ya know you lieeeeeeeee......oh please please rescue me....mommy, mommy...help me please....can't you see what he's doing to me???

Pastor, Teacher hear my cry don't you know he's a devil in disguise?? Christian council and my MP is there no one who will fight for me? I’m just a child my voice is weak but if you rise up against him this devil we'll defeat....I’m just a child I’m not his toy.... what if this ever happened to your precious little girl or boy??? Now I lay me down to rest lord help me please get out this mess, my body is used my mind will never be the same....take me up because no one understands my pain.....no one cares, no one cares, no one cares...lord I need your help please please..PLEASE…..Rescue Me!!!!!!!!!

By:- Zinnia A. Williams

Smile :-) God Loves You

Mercy

Judge and jury self proclaimed are thee.... butcher, killer, professional name slayer, executioner you are...

Killing with words murdering with lies and yet you wonder why the tears fall from my eyes...

the death of me is what you seek.....tearing me down with your words; they're wounding so deep...

punch, kick, slap again but look in my eyes and how you pretend...to be a friend, to be a guide while the knife you’ve placed so precisely into my side.... piercing the depths of my already broken soul emptying me of all the confidence and the love I thought you represented to me.... how I hurt; how I ache....how I slowly die..

wondering why....why oh why do you do this to me …...

who gave you the right the authority to break me down?

to shatter my dreams.... to kill..... to steal...... my joy...

boy oh boy who gave you such power?

can you answer in that final hour??

Answer to HE that is judge of all...who picked you up after the many times that you would fall

But oh judge how I beg have mercy on me...but you don't, you can't, you won't..... you don't want to...

Persecution is your only mission

not concerned with my dreams, goals or vision...vision of what I can do and all I can be.... of what is or can be my destiny

Though the trials I face are hard for me but no mercy you show

I beg for it oh executioner of me...mercy, mercy, I cry out to thee...

But with blood in your eyes a wolf in disguise

You whisper and throw jeers your snares breaking me down and too late I realize

that there is no mercy no mercy for me....

please leave me alone have mercy on me....no longer persecute, tear down, wound, or hurt me ever so deeply

though you claim it’s not done intentionally but you ....lieee

mercy oh mercy I cry out to thee...mercy I beg I ask you oh executioner of me

no longer judge...... don't murder me.....mercy oh mercy someone PLEASE come rescue me ........

have mercy, have mercy, HAVE mercyyyyyyyy ON meeeeeeee!

By:- Zinnia A. Williams

Smile  God Loves You :-)

Flow to You

Flow to you....

Let the rivers of my aching heart flow to you

Let every hurt every pain that's pouring down like rain flow to you.....

Flow on down and rest with you...so you can take over and let your will be done in my life

Take away the burdens as your word so declares....so I can relax and never have fears....

Erase the damage from this wounded and broken soul.....make me anew and remove all the old..the old hurt the old Worries the old pain the old shame..ever wondering if I'll ever be the same...

Flow down to you so I can be new so I can be whole...restore me heal me deliver me and set me free....

How I long to be happy excited filled with joy no longer wondering or worrying just so carefree is where I desire to Be...desire to be..... resting in you and filled with all the wonderful things that i've been designed to do...lord let the Rivers of my soul flow to you......planting the seed so I can grow in the haven of your arms where your love Overflows...making me strong and rooted in you....arms outstretched encouraging so many more as I go through....

Go through my process....no longer depressed. stressed of feeling less than.....wow....this feeeeels good....what a safety I Feel...such security such warmth such love like never before....flowing to you.... now i'm restored.....restored renewed in All you do...because of you lord, my love now overflows....my heart no longer aches but i find comfort in you...i no Longer worry because I'm resting in you.... no longer hurt because I've found comfort in you...I'm no longer confused Because you're guiding me through.... dear Lord its all because of the overflowing love I have found in you!!!

BY:- Zinnia A. Williams 

Smile God Loves You :-) 

Behind the Veil

Behind the veil is where I long to be
Yearn to be, Earnestly, Deeply so I can be......FREE...Oh so free and delivered......
Healed, Restored, Uplifted, no longer Twisted in the bondages of sin.
Oh how I long to get out of the mess that I’ve fallen..... INTO!
How I bow down and give honor to YOU ....
To come to you; for you Alone can EMPTY me....
Of this hurt, this Pain I feel that's oh so real that's kept me trapped for so long
It seemed that there was no way out
The walls were closing in on me... my mind had gone off all the things that used to keep me...
My breathe was taken away....
No longer could I say what I need to say....
To PRAY......
Pray to You...
To Talk to You....
To ask you to HELP...
To Help Me!
To Heal Me!
To Deliver Me!
To Mold Me!
To take me up and wrap your arms around me ever so Gently so Tenderly....
I come..........to you.......
I fall down on my knee....
FREELY!
WILLINGLY!
Surrendering all that I am to thee...............
Father, Father, Father; oh Father how I long to be set free...
BID ME COME...BEYOND THE VEIL!


By:- Zinnia A. Williams