I want More

I want more of you!

I want to follow hard after you so Desperately!

I want to feel you with me Always!

I want my every breath; 

My every step; 

My every action to be ordained by you.

And I will see HARD after you!

I will seek just as your word commands!

Father, my life - It's in Your Hands!

All that I need; It lies in You!

I get my strength from relying on You!

To keep me, to guide me in all that I do.

How I Long to be near you.....So so badly!!

Use me!

But Fix me though;

Remove the dirt;

Remove the Stain;

Ease the Burden & Take away the Pain

So I can run HARD after You - After You my Lord!

How I Long to be near you!

I Love You!

I Adore You!

I Bow down before You!

I Worship You!

You are My God - My King - My Everything!

I'm Running HARD after You!!

By:- Zinnia A. Williams

Don't Hurt Me Please!

Now I lay me down to sleep on my pillow top bed so soft and so sweet

I close my eyes and begin to pray lord please don't let my horror begin again I pray and I pray

Don’t let me lose no sleep this night keep me safe from the dangers I fight.

And as I rest my weary eyes let someone hear the midnight cries.

I go to sleep and begin to rest but not long after in the bed he rests…. next to me beside me …..comforting me…. trying to get…… inside me

Violating me with his tender kisses telling that it’s me he misses rubbing his hands along my flesh someone come quick I feel so helpless

His hot breath along the nape of my neck that smell of cologne mixed with his sweat I will never forget as he...he touches me ever so softly caressing me he's all up on me all over my frail body oh lord help me for I am weary… weary of this darkness that comes in the night destroying me more and more with every touch every kiss every penetration ....I can't get over......IT....its braking me….braking my heart, my mind and my spirit sentencing me to a lifetime of emotional distress, fear, un-worthiness and insecurity of never feeling what real love is supposed to be all because he's violating me…over and over and over again oh lord when will this madness end...a way out is what I shall seek ….what I need if I try to do I must succeed…. ending my life seems so perfect to me no longer trapped used and abused …. Feel like I’m sinking into and endless pit...the abyss of the darkness that encompasses me....I feel sooooooooooo ….so lonely, so empty....

Die, die, die is all I hear in my ear...it’s the only way out and you know no one cares...

No one cares or gives a dam....so what if he does this...he's only a man...the man that's supposed to love me, take care of me, honor me, adore me comfort me; RESPECT ME.....what a monster he has turned out to be....he is my.............my dad, my uncle, my brother, my… my friend? The one i look at and admire whose role in life that I should aspire to be like…...but why is he hurting me? I can't stand this...this pain....this constant viscous attempt to conspire, to ravish, to rape, to spoil to forever damage my inner temple my anatomy....no longer can I pretend..nor hide behind this is mask of sin.....I must get out I must break free...kill him and fox-hill be my destiny ? But no one will help for they don't believe me..hear me...hear my cries or see the sadness that's it my eyes...all they'll say is ya know you lieeeeeeeee......oh please please rescue me....mommy, mommy...help me please....can't you see what he's doing to me???

Pastor, Teacher hear my cry don't you know he's a devil in disguise?? Christian council and my MP is there no one who will fight for me? I’m just a child my voice is weak but if you rise up against him this devil we'll defeat....I’m just a child I’m not his toy.... what if this ever happened to your precious little girl or boy??? Now I lay me down to rest lord help me please get out this mess, my body is used my mind will never be the same....take me up because no one understands my pain.....no one cares, no one cares, no one cares...lord I need your help please please..PLEASE…..Rescue Me!!!!!!!!!

By:- Zinnia A. Williams

Smile :-) God Loves You

Mercy

Judge and jury self proclaimed are thee.... butcher, killer, professional name slayer, executioner you are...

Killing with words murdering with lies and yet you wonder why the tears fall from my eyes...

the death of me is what you seek.....tearing me down with your words; they're wounding so deep...

punch, kick, slap again but look in my eyes and how you pretend...to be a friend, to be a guide while the knife you’ve placed so precisely into my side.... piercing the depths of my already broken soul emptying me of all the confidence and the love I thought you represented to me.... how I hurt; how I ache....how I slowly die..

wondering why....why oh why do you do this to me …...

who gave you the right the authority to break me down?

to shatter my dreams.... to kill..... to steal...... my joy...

boy oh boy who gave you such power?

can you answer in that final hour??

Answer to HE that is judge of all...who picked you up after the many times that you would fall

But oh judge how I beg have mercy on me...but you don't, you can't, you won't..... you don't want to...

Persecution is your only mission

not concerned with my dreams, goals or vision...vision of what I can do and all I can be.... of what is or can be my destiny

Though the trials I face are hard for me but no mercy you show

I beg for it oh executioner of me...mercy, mercy, I cry out to thee...

But with blood in your eyes a wolf in disguise

You whisper and throw jeers your snares breaking me down and too late I realize

that there is no mercy no mercy for me....

please leave me alone have mercy on me....no longer persecute, tear down, wound, or hurt me ever so deeply

though you claim it’s not done intentionally but you ....lieee

mercy oh mercy I cry out to thee...mercy I beg I ask you oh executioner of me

no longer judge...... don't murder me.....mercy oh mercy someone PLEASE come rescue me ........

have mercy, have mercy, HAVE mercyyyyyyyy ON meeeeeeee!

By:- Zinnia A. Williams

Smile  God Loves You :-)

Flow to You

Flow to you....

Let the rivers of my aching heart flow to you

Let every hurt every pain that's pouring down like rain flow to you.....

Flow on down and rest with you...so you can take over and let your will be done in my life

Take away the burdens as your word so declares....so I can relax and never have fears....

Erase the damage from this wounded and broken soul.....make me anew and remove all the old..the old hurt the old Worries the old pain the old shame..ever wondering if I'll ever be the same...

Flow down to you so I can be new so I can be whole...restore me heal me deliver me and set me free....

How I long to be happy excited filled with joy no longer wondering or worrying just so carefree is where I desire to Be...desire to be..... resting in you and filled with all the wonderful things that i've been designed to do...lord let the Rivers of my soul flow to you......planting the seed so I can grow in the haven of your arms where your love Overflows...making me strong and rooted in you....arms outstretched encouraging so many more as I go through....

Go through my process....no longer depressed. stressed of feeling less than.....wow....this feeeeels good....what a safety I Feel...such security such warmth such love like never before....flowing to you.... now i'm restored.....restored renewed in All you do...because of you lord, my love now overflows....my heart no longer aches but i find comfort in you...i no Longer worry because I'm resting in you.... no longer hurt because I've found comfort in you...I'm no longer confused Because you're guiding me through.... dear Lord its all because of the overflowing love I have found in you!!!

BY:- Zinnia A. Williams 

Smile God Loves You :-) 

Behind the Veil

Behind the veil is where I long to be
Yearn to be, Earnestly, Deeply so I can be......FREE...Oh so free and delivered......
Healed, Restored, Uplifted, no longer Twisted in the bondages of sin.
Oh how I long to get out of the mess that I’ve fallen..... INTO!
How I bow down and give honor to YOU ....
To come to you; for you Alone can EMPTY me....
Of this hurt, this Pain I feel that's oh so real that's kept me trapped for so long
It seemed that there was no way out
The walls were closing in on me... my mind had gone off all the things that used to keep me...
My breathe was taken away....
No longer could I say what I need to say....
To PRAY......
Pray to You...
To Talk to You....
To ask you to HELP...
To Help Me!
To Heal Me!
To Deliver Me!
To Mold Me!
To take me up and wrap your arms around me ever so Gently so Tenderly....
I come..........to you.......
I fall down on my knee....
FREELY!
WILLINGLY!
Surrendering all that I am to thee...............
Father, Father, Father; oh Father how I long to be set free...
BID ME COME...BEYOND THE VEIL!


By:- Zinnia A. Williams

RISE

Women Of Purpose Rise Up And Walk Into Your Destiny;

Can't You Here Him Calling You?

Don't You Know How Great You Are Supposed To And Will Be?

Stop Your Weeping And Come And Follow Me!

Take Your Rightful Place At My Side

Let Me Be Your Comfort Your Shield And Your Guide

I Alone Can Wipe The Tears From Your Eyes

Knowing All The Nights You Cried, Wondering How You Would Ever Survive

But Rise I Say And Take Your Place; Rise And Walk Into Your Destiny

You Are No Longer Bound For I Have Set You Free;

Free To Laugh, Free To Smile, Free To Be All I Have Designed You To Be

My Queen, My Heart, My, Everything;

RISE I SAY FOR THOU ART BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED OF ME!

"I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord.

"I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you.

I will give you hope and a good future"

Jeremiah 29:11 (NCV)

BY: Zinnia. A . Williams

What Does God Require of Me?

What Does God Require Of Me?

Hmmm…My Time…My Life My Love My All; Everything That I Am And Have To Give?

Does He Require Sincerity?

Full Usage Of My Abilities That He Had Entrusted Me In Me; To Be All That I Can Be So That Others Can Be Healed Delivered And Yes Set Free.

Dedication Or Love Un-Conditionally; As It’s Supposed To Be; As He Is To Me?

Or Could It Simply Be That It’s Just More Of Me; My Strength, My Mind, Heart Body And Soul....Energy Total Commitment My Un-Divided Attention To Make The Right Connection To Him....

Could That Be What's Required Of Me?

Total Adoration, Honor, Love And Praise, Bask In Your Presence Worshiping You Father, Son & Holy Spirit

Oh Yielded Vessel That I Am

All That I Have I’m Placing In Your Hands

No More of Me and What I Need Just All That’s Required of You

Laying Aside My Hurt, Aches And Pains

Forgetting All That’s Around Me That’s Driving Me Insane Oh How I Can’t Stand The Rain That Trickles Down So Rapidly That I Cannot See:
See What’s Right There In From Of Me

Could That Be My Destiny?

Could This Be All That’s Required Of Me?

To Set Aside My Thoughts My Ways To Give Honor And Homage To You Always

To Lift You Up Each Moment I Get To Shout It From The Roof Top So They Never Forget

Never Forget Or Never Doubt How You Lifted Me Up And How You Brought Me Out

Out Of The Pit Out The Miry Clay So That I Could Give Praise To Your Name All Of My Days!

Honor Adore And Humbly Respects The One Of Whose Kindness I Can Never Forget

Forget To Say Thank You; Forget To Acknowledge All You’ve Done

The Sacrifice You Made By Giving Your Son To Die On The Cross For Someone Like Me

Oh How Special To You I Must Be

Worthy Of All Glory Worthy Of All Praise Worthy To Be Exalted High Above All

Oh How I Love You …You’re My All In All

My Elohim: Eternal Creator; My Adonai: Sovereign Is He, Master, Jehovah, El Shaddai

Jehovah Jireh: My Provider

Jehovah Nissi: My Banner, My Shadow, My Safety And I Know He Is Always With Me

Jehovah Rapha: The Lord My Healer; Healer Of My Troubles & Of My Diseases Healer Of My Physical, Emotional & Spiritual Needs

Jehovah Shalom: The Lord MY Peace In The Midst Of The Storm.
The Peace Inside Me That Helps Me Go On!

By: Zinnia A. Williams

Journey to Freedom!

Time and time again the road I walk alone…..

Time and time again, when will the cycle end?

When will change come when will I rise up, above and beyond all this chaos that encompasses me?

Trapped, lost; sinking …dying to be set free…to break lose…to tear down walls to remove barriers…to start anew…to build up to strengthen to restore…ME….you…him …her…them…all those that are and have been imprisoned by the terrors of sin…..who never thought that they could win or ever stood a chance…but how I yearn to make a change….to stand up to fight…fight for their lives….guide them ….comfort them..be there for them…..

Help them to….HEAL...to be delivered.....to give it all to....Him

Help them to know…to want…to need to lean, depend on rely on trust in..

Love HIM....CONSTANTLY!

Serve him….honor him….bow down and adore HIM…..love up on HIM and enter in..into HIS PRESENCE……to feel the very ESSENCE of ALL THAT HE IS AND DESIRES TO BE IN AND THROUGH THEM!!!!!!!

OH YEA…THAT’S NICE......THAT’S SWEET!

TO BE WHOLE…COMPLETE; COMPLETELY FILLED…COMPLETEY ENAMOURED…IN AWW IN LOVE…CAUGHT UP IN HIM… OH WHAT A SWEET SWEET FEELING!!

AH YEA…..INHALE…WHAT A BREATH OF FRESH AIR….NO MORE PAIN…

AH YEA....NO MORE DRAMA…AH YEA…NO MORE HEART-ACHE..OH YEAAAA….NO MORE!

NO MORE WORRY, NO MORE DOUBT:

NO MORE TEARS & NO MORE FEARS….

HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO BE THERE, CASTING ALL OF MY CARES.....

TO BE DRAWN NEAR TO........HIM!!!!!!!!!

UMMMM OH YEA; Just to be close…oh so close…Filled with everything that HE has poured into me…Filled to be an everlasting blessing!

Filled…filled…NEVER empty again….the past….the hurt…shame…ha... no longer will I pretend nor ever be ashamed…for......I have been set FREE!

Praise God I'm free...set free from the chins that tried to bind me...SET FREE!

FILLED WITH ALL I NEED......WALKING INTO MY DESTINY!

 

        By: Zinnia A. Williams

Acknowledgement!

Acknowledge God from the depths of your heart...
Not the words of your mouth!

Mean what u say from your heart...
Don't just say it to say it..............
MAKE GOD'S WORD HEAVIER THAN ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE AND HE SHALL RELEASE HONOR OVER YOU!!

Longing for You!

My Creativity In The Strength Of Your Words To Me....Has Helped Me To Be All That I Can Be

My Ability That Will Lead Me To My Destiny...Oh How I Long, Yearn To Be...Close To You

And Now I Have Been Set Free....Free By Your Love Your Mercy And Your Grace......

Oh How I Long To Look Upon Your Face.....To See You....To See Me...To See The One...  

My Creator, My Father...My...Everything....The All That I Am...All That I’ve Ever Wanted to Be Has Come Down and Rescued Me...

Kept Me Safely From The Hand Of My Enemy...Oh How Grateful I Am To Be...HIS!!!!!

Chosen...Hand-Picked...Set Apart....Lost Inside The Depths Of His Heart....

I Praise You I Worship You I Honor You Lord...My Rock My Fortress.....My Light At The End Of The Tunnel....

My Sustainer, Maintainer...Myyyyyyyyyyyy…...Way Maker....Never Ending NOT Ever Forsaker Of Me...

How I Love Him How I Honor Him How Excellent Is His Name....I Am Never And Will Ever Remain The Same....

Because I Am His And He Is Mine....The One I Can Call On All The Time...

No Matter The Hour The Min Or The Day He Never Turns Me Away....He Listens To All I Have To Say And Is There To Wipe All My Tears Away....

Turn My Dark Nights Into A Brighter Day!!!!!

What More Can I Say To Show My Love To Express My Gratitude??

OH How I’m In The Mood........

To Go On And On And On And On Till........Time............. STOPS!!!!


BY: Zinnia .A. Williams

LOST?

Withdrawal..........Intense Nervousness...Extreme Anxiety.....Confused... Feeling Somewhat Incomplete....

Wandering Aimlessly.....Don't Know Which Way To Go... Which Way To Turn...Or Who To Turn To Or Talk To Help Me...

Help Me Get Out Of This State That I Am In...A State That I Have Found Myself In Over And Over Again...A State Of Hurt, Pain And Shame...Wondering When I’ll Be Tired Of This Game....

This Crazy Game Called Life.....The Life That I Have Led...Only Not Going Down The Right Path That Was Set...Set Before Me By The Most High.....

Then I Try To Wonder Why...Wonder Why I Cry...Why I Sigh... Wonder Why This Feeling That's Inside Me Won't Die..... Only To Realize It’s Because Of Me...Because Of Me Alone...It Was Me That Made The Choice....

The Choice To Get Caught Up In A Never-Ending Twisted Web Of Lies Hurt And Pain... Oh How Did I Ever Maintain;

Maintain The Mindset That Lasted For So Long, That It’s Deflected The Reality Of All That's Around Me..... The Reality Of Life..... The Reality Of Fear..... The Reality Of The Mess I’m In...How Damaged I’ve Been..... So Caught Up In This Tremendous Sin...How I Will Win.... If I Remain...Remain Caught Up.....

Trapped...Lost...Sunken Into The Abyss Of Sin ...No Way Out It Seems.....

But I Hear A Voice From Up Above; Calling My Name...Helping Me To Regain..... The Life That's Meant For Me...

A Life Of Wealth, Health And Prosperity....How I Yearn To Be There...Be On High...... In That Place Of Comfort...Up There By His Side....

But This Sin I’m In I Must Decide..... To Set Is Aside...So That I Can Abide With Him...The ONE Who Loves Me….REGARDLESS OF THE STATE I AM IN!

BY: Zinnia .A. Williams

Words

JUST BECAUSE I LOOK A BIT DIFFERENT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT GOD LOVES ME ANY-LESS

HE WON'T DESPISE OR CRITICIZE ME OR REJECT ME BECAUSE OF THE WAY I DRESS


WHETHER I'M BLACK YELLOW PURPLE OR BROWN....MY SENSE OF STYLE WON'T TIE ME DOWN
WON'T HINDER MY WALK WON'T HINDER MY GROWTH WON'T DISTRACT MY MISSION TO DRAW OTHERS CLOSE...


CLOSER TO HIM AND BREAKING DOWN WALLS.....THE WALLS OF SOCIETY THAT DESPERATELY NEED TO FALL.....


WALLS THAT ARE BUILT TO KEEP PEOPLE OUT WHEN....ALL THAT GOD WANTS IS TO DRAW THEM NEAR... TO BRING THEM IN...BUT HOW CAN THEY ENTER WHEN THE BARRIER IS SO HIGH?


GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE OH HOLY SANCTIFIED ONE.....THANK GOD ITS HE WHO SENT HIS SON


IF IT HAD BEEN YOU WHAT CHANCE WOULD WE STAND……COULD WE EVERFACE THE TRIALS THAT LIFE THROWS OUR WAY?


OR WOULD YOU TEAR US DOWN EACH CHANCE YOU GOT....WITH YOUR LOOKS AND YOUR WORDS THAT PIERCED THE HEART AND BRUISED THE SOUL


WHOA TO MAN WHO JUDGES ANOTHER....AREN'T WE SUPPOSE TO BUILD UP PROTECT LOVE ONE ANOTHER...AS SISTER OR A BROTHER???
I SAID... WHOA TO MAN WHO JUDGES ANOTHER....AREN'T WE SUPPOSE TO BUILD UP PROTECT LOVE ONE ANOTHER.....


CHECK YA SELFBEFORE YOU WRECK YA SELF....


WE HAVE ALL SINNED AND COME SHORT OF HIS GLORY IN OUR OWN WAY.......
IF I SWEPT AROUND YOUR DOOR I WONDER WHAT OTHERS WOULD SAY???


SO LETS NOT TAKE THE TIME TO TEAR ONE ANOTHER DOWN....CUZ WHAT GOES AROUND..... COMES AROUND


ITS TIME TO HEAL, TIME TO RESTORE AND TIME TO RENEW....TAKE TIME TO UPLIFT SOMEONE AND BRIGHTEN UP THEIR DAY......WHY NOT FIND AN ENCOURAGING WORD TO SAY.......FOR GOD SAKE MAN.... WHY NOT JUST PRAY!


PRAY FOR GOD TO TOUCH THEIR SOUL....PRAY FOR HIM TO MAKE THEM WHOLE....DON'T CURSE AND DESTROY THEM WITH YOUR WORDS....MAN COME ON........OR HAVEN'T YOU HEARD.....THAT LIFE AND DEATH IS IN THE POWER OR THE TONGUE.....EACH OF US HAS GOT OUR OWN RACE TO RUN...


SLOW DOWN.....RELAX AND FEEL THE BREEZE...WE'LL ALL GET JUDGED ONE DAY FOR OUR OWN DEEDS....SO LEAVE THAT PART TO THE GOD ABOVE AND TAKE THE TIME.... AND SHOW SOME LOVE....
REMEMBER THE POWER THAT YOUR WORDS HAVE................................

THEY CAN DESTROY...SHATTER....HURT...CAUSE PAIN....ADD TO EXISTING WOUND...MAKE ONE FEEL LIKE THEY WANNA DIE...HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE SADNESS IN ONES EYE....DID YOU NOT THINK YOUR WORDS WOULD MAKE THEM CRY??
YOUR POORLY CHOSEN WORDS CAN KILL ONE'S DREAMS; LOWER EXPECTATIONS AND IMPACT SELF-ESTEEM


WELL CHOSEN ONES CAN OFFER HOPE, CREATE VISION, IMPACT THINKING, and STOP ONE FROM SINKING....
THEY RESTORE....RENEW..REVITALIZE....AND ALTER RESULTS ...ERASING ALL FEAR AND CANCEL DOUBT
WORDS INFLUENCE THE PEOPLE THEIR SPOKEN TO.....ALWAYS BE CONSCIOUS OF THE DAMAGE THEY CAN DO
SEARCH YOUR HEART FOR THE RIGHT THING TO SAY...TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS TO DRIVE THE SORROW AWAY...CHOOSING THEM WISELY CAN BRIGHTEN ONE'S DAY...DON'T LET YOUR WORDS BE THE REASON THAT ONE HAS GONE ASTRAY......MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND CHANGE THAT TODAY....


YOUR WORDS HAVE POWER!!!

By: Zinnia .A. Williams

EMPTY VESSEL

Bread of heaven fall a fresh on me....

Overflow into this empty vessel….. Heal renew restore this broken wounded spirit of mine.


Oh retched person am I, that I fail to embrace my birthright...Fail to take a claim to what's rightfully mine....How else to I expect to find...Find out who I am...Who’s I’m supposed to be...A prince then a king, Princess then a queen....But oh I need to abstain …..Abstain from this life that has be bound...That's turn my whole world upside down...Twisting and turning....Deeply yearning to co-exist with this world’s system of chaos---How can I ever dismiss....Dismiss the hurt or shed the pain...Bypass rejection and being ashamed.....Toss aside doubt, fear and lack.....and even this monkey that's tide to my back...that adds to the burden I carry each day....enabling my to lose focus. ….wonder and go away...away from the promise that belongs to me....that can loose the chains and set me free...free from the captivity...the captivity that's built in my mind...wasting such precious time...trying to find a peace of mind, when all along it was there....there inside of me...buried deep within,...covered in the abyss of sin I was tangled in......trying to break away....failing time after time....Lord make me over...make me over again.....


Mold me into the person I desire to be, that I’m destined to be…Uniquely created by you!

By:-Zinnia Williams

Wrong Relationships

Why is it that we find ourselves caught up in the same situations all the time?



Why is it that we always seem to either attract or be attracted to the same type of person all the time?


Why is it that no matter how much we say that we won't get involved in that type of relationship or that kind of person ever again that we always find ourselves right back in that same situation with that same person…or even in a worst state than we were in, in the first place?


Could it be something psychological?


Maybe something connected to our childhood; something we saw depicted in the early stages of our lives that causes us to have these particular ideas about what a relationship is or how a relationship is supposed to be?


Or maybe we find ourselves in these situations because we are looking for what we may have missed such as that "man figure" or "father figure" in our lives?


So therefore we then go out looking for what we want to be the exact opposite of that "father figure" that we didn't have in our lives, yet we end up attracting the very same thing we were running away from.


Or could it be that maybe it was something we heard or were told by someone that we considered to be a role-model or mentor or even someone we looked to for advice.


You know that one person that meant the world to you; whose opinion out-weighed everyone else's. Yes that person; who you felt knew everything there was to know or who you wanted to "be just like".


That person's examples, decisions, they way they lived their daily life...impacted you!


Could it be that we are just simply being ignorant to the fact that hey, this thing is not healthy for us, that it can lead us down a path of destruction, and can destroy not only our lives but the lives of others around us and yet we seem to turn a blind eye to it?


The sad thing is the end result of it is that we find ourselves in these horrible situations that turn out to be a long, emotionally, unhealthy and psychologically draining repetitive cycle in our lives that can be avoided.


By:- Zinnia A. Williams